I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
