Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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