i can't believe i had my finger in that
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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