you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
