we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
