You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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