It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
