it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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