sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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