i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
NoShamevember. You game?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
