would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
