im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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