He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I would ride that face into the sunset
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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