Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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