No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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