If i come over, it means nothing
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
