You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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