just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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