No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will pee on everything he values.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
