did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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