I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
