He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
