That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
