Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
