Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
