I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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