Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
