Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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