I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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