does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
