i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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