I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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