Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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