Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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