A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
