You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
