dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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