apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
