White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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