from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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