Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
