I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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