i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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