Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
