He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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