My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
