I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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