well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
