I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
