And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
how does that bad decision feel?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
