just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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