Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
