woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize