woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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