Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
