What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
