i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
