So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
