after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize