Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
