thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
