i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
