Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
