Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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