Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's even glitter on my cock...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
