last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize