so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
