its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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