im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize