I want to stick my p in your. b.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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