She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
